Today’s trip to the Isle of Wight was very nice… and very tiring. Coming home I was thinking of all the things I need to do just today since we were out all day. And my body and brain both decided to scream out a resounding “ENOUGH ALREADY!” The oft talked of break is here. I don’t know how long it will be but at the moment I plan to keep up with Project 365. I’ll tie up loose ends on Ravelry and then sort of go lite on that front (updating projects but that’s about it). I may also keep up with the weekly post, we’ll have to see how I feel. J. and I plan to be at I Knit Day next month and I’d like to be somewhere near human again for it.

You can see the pictures from the Isle of Wight here. They are tons because I am too tired to pick the best shots so bunches are going up. Normally I would be more selective.

And with that I’m off. Take care of yourselves and ciao fer now.

Wow, those of you who warned about being hungry (like the wolf, which made me laugh, thanks Jenny!) and moody? You were right. I could eat my way through an entire Sizzler salad bar right now (man, I miss salad bars, they aren’t done here) and bitchslap a whoooole bunch of stupid people. Also, I look awful. I tend to have a constant low grade fever normally so I have quite a lot of color in my face. And now the feverishness is gone and I just LOOK sick. It’s unnerving. And? My face looks fat.

Let’s distract ourselves with knitting, shall we?

Something about summer just makes me want to knit up odds and ends. That hat I had been planning since February, the scarf I have wanted to make for months. I don’t know what it is except that it being August makes me think I have tons of time until I’ll need autumny sweaters. And since my brain is very sluggish at the moment and things like lace and short rows are right out, it’s another remnant log cabin for me.

J. and I wound all my sock yarn remnants into two giant balls. One is 650g, the other 670g.

The little yellow ball? That’s a ball of Sock Hop for comparison. These balls are giant.

And I’m onto block two after one night’s knitting. Which would make me happy only I know how log cabins go. Hopefully the mad color changes will get me through the longer slog sections.

And how about the weekly thing?

Things I Am Loving This Week:

• the Olympics. Gymnastics, diving, swimming, canoe/kayak slalom, archery. Looking forward to the bike stuff. The first year of BMX should be cool to watch. And the marathons. I learned during the last Commonwealth games that marathons are interesting for the scenery and brilliant to knit along with.
• Total Video Converter which took a dvd recorded off tv and put it (sans commercials) on my ipod. Because you can never have enough Duran Duran on your ipod. Just sayin.

Something Good: I have truffles. Or rather, I had truffles. J. is about the only man I have ever met who loves chocolate as much as I do. Also, I dug out the quilt my mom made me for my 4th birthday because now that my constant low grade fever has buggered off I am cold lots. And it is comforting. And on it I found a hair from Lily, my cat who died in 1999. It’s been washed many times since then but I was feeling pretty rotten so it was happy making all the same. Happy making is good.

Knitting: Rainbow Socks: Yellow and Sock Remnants Log Cabin. I expect both to take some time.

Reading: I meant to start Michio Kaku’s latest book this week by my brain won’t allow it. Instead I reread a Yarn Harlot book. Now I’m onto The Body Sacred by Dianne Sylvan.

Writing/Crafting: Managed a short story (which will be part of a collection if I ever finish it). This is good. Otherwise, nada.

This Week’s Plan: We’re going to the Isle of Wight tomorrow which should be interesting. My doctor is calling me on Monday (phone check ups are brilliant).

How about you?

Up at 7am is not a common occurrence. In fact, most of the time I am seeing 7am it’s from the other side, staying up all night (insomnia). But I’ve been up for two hours now and while I’m beginning to think there is a nap in my near future, I’m more awake than I have been in some time. So maybe the pred is making the whole sleep/wake thing work a bit better. Or maybe I just need some food. And coffee. Coffee is good.

Also, I managed to get some writing in! Woot! I think I am an early morning writer. When the brain is still a bit loose from sleep and everything’s rather quiet. Hopefully this will jump start my writing again and let me get on with the blog-based writing ideas I was wanting to try out. How many of you are writers anyway?

Other stuff:

I finished another cowl for the Ravelympics. This yarn is SUPER soft and squishy. Keep your eye out on the FKS page if’n you’d like a cowl.

I gave up entirely on the Shepherd Sock I bought because it matched my blog. That stuff is just evil. Winding it into a ball it was a mess of knots. I knits up like wire and after knitting ONE round, it got into a knot as I frogged it. So, who wants it? I’ll trade for nice sock yarn that doesn’t feel like wire or like to get itself into knots. And note to self: who cares if it matches your blog, Shepherd Sock SUCKS. (In my opinion.)

I had a yummy dinner from my new favorite cookbook (Super Natural Cooking by Heidi Swanson - or as we call it, the Ghostly Cookbook.) Which a kind soul sent me when they won some FKS. Now that’s a nice FKS experience.

Also, I have truffles and Duran Duran on my ipod. Not a bad morning, as mornings go.

Now, coffee and then back to writing. And then off to the hospital for chest xrays. Ugh. Well at least the day started out pretty good.

Hope you’re having a good one.

Once again things are shifting on the health front. I am being referred to a pulmonary specialist for “borderline restrictive lung function”. And since Sjogren’s can cause respiratory complications… meh. And I’m on my first steroid pulse. Something in my brain registers “real” sickness when prednisone is involved.

When I was first diagnosed with SS, I was given a little pamphlet. Sort of the “You’ve Got Sjogren’s Syndrome!” sort. It mentioned how my biggest complaints would be dry eyes and dry mouth and how some people experienced dental and vision problems. It also mentioned how only rarely did people have muscle pain with Sjogren’s Syndrome.

Which is why, four years later, I’m on my first steroid pulse, right? Seriously, this disease is so poorly known that over the last four years I have had symptoms which is turns out is part of the systemic auto immune disease part of things (no mention of that on the pamphlet!) blamed on iron deficiency (I have a blood disorder that causes that and have had since birth), depression (I’m not depressed), migraines (my migraines are stress related and I haven’t had one for about six years), and fibromyalgia (which truly is a garbage can diagnosis. Don’t know what it could be? Blame the fibro.) Neurologists looked at me like I was crazy and recommended lithium (!!). Rheumatologists told me to “keep going!” and “don’t give up!” while prescribing anti-depressants and eye drops. One physical therapist told me that the fibro would be cured within a year and I’d be back to living a normal life (ignoring the Sjogren’s obviously). Another physical therapist told me that there was nothing for me to be gained by taking part in the program, as I already understood the concept of pacing and that’s what they focused on.

And now? Well. Muscle pain. Joint pain. Autonomic nervous system dysfunction. (That means that the part of my brain that controls all the stuff I don’t consciously control is on the fritz. This is from disease activity.) Muscle spasms. Fatigue. Rashes and sun sensitivity. It’s a systemic disease. It attacks everything, not just the eyes. And being told you’re imagining things or that it’s all part and parcel of a totally different illness that you’ve got a pretty good grip on doesn’t help. I know my fibro. I know what makes it worse and what helps it. I know pacing is important, I know the types of pain that it causes. And I have known for some time that there’s something else going on. Something else that turns out to be the fault of a disease that only gives me dry eyes.

Which is why for so long I was tested for lupus. Sjogren’s and lupus are quite similar in how they work, they just attack different parts of the body. And as I said to my doctor, things would not have been dismissed for so long if it was lupus.

My inflammation markers have popped up again, showing disease activity. So I’m on a steroid pulse to get that under control and then I have to start proper treatment for this disease. Five years later.

Sometimes it doesn’t occur to me how sick I really am. Because I feel like this all the time. I feel worse at the moment thanks to the disease activity, but it doesn’t go away. Which means I tend to get used to it. I even forget how it used to be to be well. But sometimes I realize that this isn’t normal. And that just because I seem to be fine, it doesn’t mean I am. Especially since one of my biggest defense mechanisms is humor. Laugh and underplay the truth. No one really wants to know what it’s like, day in and day out, being 30 and housebound. I can’t work like normal people, I can’t play like normal people. I’m not normal. Even if I like to pretend that I am.

And on that note, I am going to go pretend I’m normal with Sims 2 and a whooooole lotta Duran Duran. Simon makes everything better. Like chocolate. Only sexier.

Happy Wednesday.

Thanks for all the comments on the last entry. I’m feeling an energy crisis (holdover from the flu) which is making thinking of something to blog a bit overwhelming. But I got yarn in the mail, so I don’t have to think all that much.

But first, another Ravelympics project is done:

That’s Felicity in Dream in Color Classy in Deep Sea Flower. Very squishy and very blue (blue hands and needles). It’s a good thing I love this color because I have both a shawl and a sweater’s worth of DIC in this colorway.

And I have started another cowl. I should mention as well that this cowl is currently slated for FKS. So keep an eye out if you want a squishy rainbow colored cowl.

And then there’s the yarn. As most of you know, I can’t handle knitting with thin yarn. Lorna’s Laces Shepherd Sock is thin.

But it matches my blog! Named for Franklin’s blog, it matches my flower motif which I have used for ages now. That color combination is about my favorite in the world. I am thinking maybe a cowl or something.

At the moment I am watching the men’s gymnastics (USA is looking good) and I have a doctor’s appointment in an hour. Ick.

Happy… what day is it anyway?

This Monday is dreary. I have a very bizarre allergy/cold thing going on. I am frustrated with my lack of ability to do what normal people do on Monday mornings. And my blogging is really suffering. Between Ravelry and Flickr, I’m not entirely sure why I blog. I’m sort of tired by the way the interaction goes (very one sided), I’m tired of pontificating (although I don’t expect that to last long) and I feel like at best, things have been mediocre. And as a writer I am beginning to notice a rather strong correlation between blogging and the lack of writing. This probably has nothing to do with blogging itself. Rather that I am really creative in finding ways to circumvent being creative altogether. Is it just the time of year? Any other bloggers out there feeling the doldrums? Or is it just me?

Hrm. How about some knitting?

The Purl Beret is no more. I forgot how much I hate knitting sock yarn hats on tiny needles. They don’t seem to work for me.

The Tundra Cowl is done. Again, I’ll do a post-Olympics project post but in the meantime you can find all the info on Ravelry.

Rose Wine is going well.

And the yellow socks are going well.

Other than that, I got nothing. Hope y’all have a better Monday than I am currently having.

Expect a bit of this, I am quite the Olympics fan.

I am beginning to think that this difference in what I can find to watch is a matter of country. In America I am used to being able to watch rotation after rotation of gymnastics because I think America is quite into gymnastics (maybe because we have so many great gymnasts?). Here, well you can watch all the rowing and sailing you can handle, lots of tennis and TONS of football (ie: soccer). So far I have caught like half of a single rotation on the gymnastics and I am peeved as it’s one of my favorite sports. As to swimming? Pshaw. I expect the diving to be quite well covered because of Tom Daley, the 14 year old British diver. When your adopted country and your home country have different sporting loves, what’s a person to do?

In knitting news: the cowl is done. I’m halfway done with the hat for my sister and have a Rose Red waiting in the wings. I’ve decided to post a single post-Olympics post covering all the projects I’ve managed in that time (nearly two done on day one isn’t bad). Ravelry will be updated more regularly (I’m phoeknits over there).

And I Knit Day is coming up soon! Anyone planning on going? J. and I will be there.

Oh, and before I forget, today is Duran Duran Appreciation Day. No, really. So go forth and appreciate the best thing to come out of Birmingham and the 1980s ever. And they’re sexy to boot. *squishy love to DD*

The Olympics have started! Huzzah! So far I have missed most the swimming and men’s team gymnastics qualifying! This is not good. But unless I take J’s advice and become nocturnal for the next 15 days, I don’t know what else to do. Watch highlights? With seven choices of channel, you’d think I could watch ONE event all the way through but no. Meh. I didn’t even see any of the American men’s gymnastics. Oh well, highlights are better than nothing. Although I have to say that some of the BBC announcers give John Tesh a run for his money on most annoying in the world. But still, Olympics!

And to celebrate, I have cast on for two new projects! I didn’t want to do the Ravelympics completely, I didn’t want that sense of omgdeadline! But I decided that since I might (one day) catch something I want to pay attention to, I could knock out a bunch of smaller projects.

Right now it’s a cowl…

… and a hat for my sister.

And to top off the oddly yellow rainy day, J. made some pretty yummy turkey quesadillas.

At the moment there is nothing but highlights (that I’ve seen) on so we’re watching Sense and Sensibility and I am eating Hagen-Daaz strawberry cheesecake ice cream.

It is really yellow out there. I have been trying to take a picture but neither camera will pick up the yellow. Oh well.

Happy Saturday.

So now that the contest is over and done with, I can announce the winners.

Package 1: So many fantastic entries! It was really cool to see what inspires people. And it was really hard to pick a winner. But pick one I did. Congratulations Bea of Baa Baa Blacksheep!

Wanna see the other blog entries?

• Breanna’s Knit Bits
• Karma Kitties (that’s the one and only B.)
• Radiant Twist
• The Viking Princess (how’s that for a cool blog name?)
• Knit One Blog Too
• Comfort Joy Designs
• Dianne Rambling On…
• Mariknits
• Arctic Knits (even cooler… yes, I make bad puns. A lot, actually.)
• Lovin’ Comfort Knits
• Knit/Pickin’
• A Tree Hugger’s Wife (Missy, who has just moved from Saipan to Alaska)
• Friends Knit Together (Adriana who is moving to Toronto soon)
• Four kids, Two dogs and a Marine Husband
• The Adventures of Elva Undine (better known round these parts as Jessica Marie of Folk & Fairy)
• and thanks to all the blogless entries as well!

Package 2: Names in a hat and the winner is… Erin Ferraguto. Congrats!

Package 3: Names in a hat of everyone entered into the contest. And the winner of this super secret prize (ok, not really. It’s yarn and tea.) is Kristen who emailed me pictures of her adorable dog Belle.

Right, winners, email me at pfeknitsAT gmail.com.

Thanks to everyone who took part.

Non-contest stuff:

I finished my no-name scarf. Super fast knit and I love, LOVE the result.

• Name: The Scarf
• Pattern: Valentine Sequin Scarf from kpixie
• Yarn: Sublime Extra Fine Merino DK in no. 64, 2 skeins (I had about a foot leftover)
• Needles: Denise’s US 8
• Mods: Used a provisional cast on, had cables of varying and completely random lengths and then grafted the whole thing into a loop.
• Notes : For some reason I had this mad hankering for one of those loop scarves that were so popular last year. And with good reason by the look of things, squishy, soft, cabley and loopy. No ends to get in the way and just sheer coziness. Also, this was FAST.

A few days ago I had a very Game of Death-esque dream only instead of ascending levels and beating enemies, I was descending levels and acquiring new parts of myself. I am mostly housebound and even more than that, a lot of times I am either in or on the bed. (Thank the gods for laptops, eh?) Deciding to photograph myself every day for a year has always been something I’ve wanted to do in the future. When I’m better (fibro and Sjogren’s are both chronic and incurable but I don’t like to admit that I might very well be sick for the rest of my life), when we’ve moved to a more picturesque place, just later.

The fifth level down in my dream was about blasting out of comfort zones. Ok then, I’ll try. You can see (if you really want to) what there is to be seen over on Flickr.

I had planned a snazzy photo shoot for tomorrow but the butt kicking flu changed that. And since I’m doing a big winner’s post tomorrow, here’s the weekly thing a week early. Really I shouldn’t bother with either since yesterday’s feeling slightly better turned out to be premature but it is bugging me.

FOs:

Seraphim:

• Name: Seraphim
• Pattern: Seraphim by Miriam L. Felton
• Yarn: Elsebeth Lavold Silky Wool in Purple, 5 skeins
• Needles: Knit Picks Harmony US 5
• Mods: I didn’t do the edging because I didn’t want to break into a new skein.
• Notes: This turned out huge. Too big to wear as a scarf.

However it makes a nice blanket for when you’ve got the flu.

Chevron Scarf:

• Name: RoS: S. Chevron Scarf
• Pattern: Chevron Scarf by Joelle Hoverson
• From: Last Minute Knitted Gifts
• Yarn: The Plucky Knitter Superwash Merino Wool Handpainted Fingering Weight in Hippie Chick, 1 skein and KPPPM in autumny colors, 2 skeins
• Needles: Denises US 6
• Notes: I like this pattern. Can you tell?

WIPs:

The Scarf:

The scarf with no name. Or rather too many names. Still, cabley smooshy goodness. Names, schmames.

Rainbow Socks Yellow:

Handspun sock yarn is goooood.

And now the weekly thing:

Things I Am Loving This Week:

• 1960s sunken living rooms
• Twist Collective
• environmentally aware foodies
• Roger Taylor blogs!
• Clue (the film)

Something Good: Clue the movie. Yarn. Otherwise, this week has been rotten. Evil flu.

Knitting: Rainbow Socks Yellow, Lush & Lacy

Reading: The Diary of Virginia Woolf Vol I

Writing/Crafting: Did some rereading on Monday, nothing since. Meh.

This Week’s Plan: Dentist appt tomorrow but I am going to have to reschedule that, dr appt (and test results) on Tuesday, trip to the Isle of Wight Saturday. In short, busy. Just when I reeeeally need to be resting. Not the best plan ever, but there you go.

Happy Friday.

Also: People have been having problems with the Ground Flower Hat pattern. I have updated the pattern to point out that it is knit with the yarn held double. Regardless, gauge is your friend. If you aren’t near gauge, you won’t get a hat like that.

/admin.